Hijack your thoughts…

Recently I have been in a very dark hole sucking me down like quicksand unable to move, because if you move in quick-sand you sink further down. Looking into the distance I can see myself walking on solid ground but am numb, I seem to be going through the motions as life is passing me by and yet I function but in a foggy state worn down and extremely low. How did I get here? Why is this happening? What do I do? I don’t want to feel this way. Lord, I call to you with no voice…

So, I crawl across the floor and it takes all I have to move forward I’m in a paralyzed hold and its hard to breathe I’m exhausted and close my eyes just for a moment and hours go by when I open them again blurred from the barrier that surrounds me, I manage to reach for His hand and He lifts me up and cradles me in His Mighty Tender Loving arms of Peace met with Grace and Comfort, I close my eyes again and as He embraces me I feel shielded and safe protected in every way yet wholly vulnerable escaping my troubled state for He has me in His sacred place. I am encaptivated, love surrounds me in ever way the Lord’s love can and I allow it to dive deep into my Soul I am strengthened while in His presence and love it, how do I stay here? – I don’t want to go back to the numbness that captures me daily, what do I do?

I fall into His deep presence even more, because when I crawled all the way to a place where I can overcome and push past everything gripping me, I press play and while the worship sounds of music come on it removes me from my comatose, as I lift my hands and voice to propel forward the desire of Him illuminates me and I am set in His glory. I ‘hijack my thoughts’ even though I don’t want to I focus on my Lord and am embraced. Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you, I heard these words last night as I lay my head down for the night and struggled to settle not knowing what the next day was to bring but in my sorrow I am here and God loves me He sings over me and I am His so I draw strength from my Lord who always leads us in triumphal procession and If these are just some of the things He does just imagine all the other things there is to discover spending time with Him. I am never alone even though in these dark times I have felt so lonely when we can hijack our thoughts and transition them into the truth God will lift you up and He is all we need in the most difficult moments He is always there.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I know how hard it is to snap out of a low state – honestly you can’t, you can’t just tell yourself your good, just be happy, its not that easy and it does not work like that, so here are some things you can do.

1. It’ll take all you got but you must crawl across the floor and press play on your worship music set. – This will help take the focus off of you and put it on the One that deserves all of your attention.

2. You will have to give it everything you’ve got to pry open the pages of your bible because it’ll feel like a 1000pound rock is sitting on your bible. – When you do, He will lead you to discover truths for you matter most to Him and this will encourage you, taking the focus off of your low self.

3. Walk outside, this will be like an impossible task because it’ll feel like you are up against a freight train and you have to use all of your might to push it putting one foot in front of the other. – Once you step foot in nature you breathe fresh air and this awakens your senses taking your focus to His creation again off of your own state.

You are able because He makes you able, call out His name and He will answer you.

Psalm 145:17-19 The Lord is righteous in all of his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.

I keep having a vision that appears periodically it’s a women standing in front of me and she is bruised and battered many cuts and scrapes dirty and bloody her hair is messy but her face is not clear to me, but I reach out my hands and wipes the tears rolling down her face smearing blood and dirt across her cheeks, then I embrace her in my arms holding her so tight and close she slowly extends the embrace and holds me back a sign of trust and awareness she’s in a safe place and it’s okay to let go and be held, as I hold her tears fill me eyes and fall down my face then even tighter we grip each other deeper now knowing it’s okay, so I ask God I have seen this women before and I have wiped her tears and have held her who is she? He says to me this is you, you have been through so much my daughter and its time to know you are okay and as you learn the embrace I have showed you now you will be able to take this further than you ever thought because you will not only embrace yourself but you will show others how to embrace themselves, holding you the way I showed you is how I always hold you and I want you to take what you learn from me and show my love.

I want to leave you with this… I have been on this lowly road before and have overcome it as I will again because God is for me. I share because suffering is no joke, its not easy to press on through depression it has a way of choke holding you, so I encourage you to tell someone, get prayed for, if you need to see a doctor go and if medication is needed please use it, life is worth living, call out Jesus’ name, open the Word of God, play worship music, hijack your thoughts so they don’t over run you, the truth is always stronger than the lies, you can prevail – I know this because I am and these steps I am taking right now.

Jude 24 Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault.

Heavenly Father, thank You for loving me, embracing me, carrying me and strengthening me I cannot do life without You, You’ve seen me crawl, You’ve seen me in every way I have ever been in my life hurt, sad, mad, grieved, lost, broken, weak, You’ve seen it all and now as I draw near to You- You draw near to me tears flow in my heart deeply they flow down into my Soul and as my Spirit cries out to Spirit, You hear me and awaken what’s been lost myself embraced, battered broken hurt and in traumatic pain suffering until held I thank You for showing me that I can be held and loved in my brokenness and in my worst most shattered way. I pray those who are hurting and broken shattered in the worst way by things either done to them or things they’ve done to themselves that they also know God wants you to embrace yourself as that person and hold her telling her everything will be okay, because that’s the way God loves He doesn’t love just parts of you He loves all of you every broken part and He will hold you too if you let Him, invite Him into all of your life so He can help make you whole. Its taken me a long time to embrace my broken battered self, things I did or had done to me and thinking it was my fault or I deserved it, I come against the lies right now in the name of Jesus for You and for me that the lies are broke off of us that we live here and now in the presence of a King who calls us beautiful and we are loved set free and set apart we are worth all of that and more because our God says so. The sins we’ve done are forgiven and forgotten that’s how deeply the Lord’s love is for us as we repent of our sins they are gone.  I smile knowing who I belong to and how He sees me with no flaw He desires us and there is no flaw in you either. Help us Lord to ‘Hijack our thoughts’ and replace them with truth – Who You say we are? What You say we are? I praise You for healing Lord in every way we need a healing touch from You Lord You are the Only One who can and will, so, I declare healing as You went to the cross for us not by mistake but on purpose for Your love ran red and we are claimed by You forgiven and made holy and pure. In Jesus precious and holy name, I pray, Amen.